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My social security card, birth certificate and passport….

I got this letter recently, well maybe it wasn’t exactly, “recently” perhaps I have been procrastinating as one is apt to do for things that one doesn’t want to do, that stated my time had come or perhaps my time was running out or maybe it was that it was just time, to visit the DPS and renew my license.
Seems that every 10 years or so one has to appear in person to get permission to drive a Jeep. I guess they want to see if 1) one is  alive, or 2) one can still see the stop signs around the neighborhood.

After a little investigation (I made a phone call) I discovered that nowadays an appointment is required to renew your license instead of just showing up, standing in line and waiting my turn like in the olden days.
So, I guess, there may actually be some good things that have come from the reworking of the way our businesses and bureaucracies operate now.

You see, this is Texas, and it’s hot outside. Really hot. And as it happens, one must renew their driver’s license in their birthday month, and my birthday month is August. No matter how early (remember I’m a TCON guy) in the day I would get to the DPS I would usually be dripping with sweat by the time it was my turn to say “cheese” and smile for new photo on my new license.

Not today! Today I arrived at my appointed time only to realize that perhaps I wasn’t as thorough in my initial investigation as I thought I had been.  As I approached the tent to get into the socially distanced line, the greeter (yeah, a greeter at DPS) asked if I had brought all the necessary forms of id. My social security card, birth certificate and passport. Ruh roh.
“How much time do I have?” I ask the greeter.
“Thirty minutes sir.” said the greeter.
“Okay, hold my place I’ll be right back.” says I.

So I call TWWNCNBUIP and ask if she can locate my birth certificate, passport and social security card.  “Social security card?” says TWWNCNBUIP. “Are you kidding? I don’t think I’ve seen that in forty years.”
Well, while I was dashing home, she searched through an old box of treasures (my dad’s old lighter, some baby teeth, you know, treasures) and voila! she found that ancient social security card.
TWWNCBUIP called my cell to share the good news, “I found it!” says she. “How far out are you?”
“I’m three minutes away.” says I.

I pulled up into the drive, hit the garage door button and nothing. Not only does the door not budge, but it made the most god awful sound. Sounded like a freight train grinding to a stop.  Oh no. Now what?
The garage door will have to wait. I had to get back before I lost my chance. The next appointment was not until September and as I may have mentioned, my birthday is in August.

I grabbed every identification card I had ever owned and raced back to the DPS.
When I arrived there was only one other person there. Amazing I tell you, amazing.

So I waited my very short turn, in the extremely socially distanced line, to present my credentials, take my eye test and have my picture taken.

My story ends well, because I passed the eye exam and had two thumbprints (my own) that turned out to not have committed any crimes and my birth certificate had not expired.

Bad news is they are using an updated photo on my new license and the garage door repairman only had an early morning slot available. So it’s up before TCON again tomorrow.

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